Untitled -- 3.17.2005

hundreds of days and i am here without you



i can't remember the last time



i breathed without



thinking of your smile.





the rain that falls outside



makes faces on my windows, my eyes.



i laugh when sunlight tickles me and i cry



when i hear our song on the radio.



i am going crazy without you



please remember me when you kiss her,



because i can't stop remembering you.





why do i feel like this



its really only been minutes, and i am



still so lonely, so sad



shaking and away from everyone.



help me please and



i will miss you



if you ever leave me...i guess



i am not the best person now



but its not my fault i am sorry



forgive me for what i have done



let my dove spread her wings



and fly into the happy sunlight



so i may smile again. i want to dance



i want to sing, i want to



make you proud.



i can't stand this sadness



i can't shake it off



all it does



is kill me from the inside out.



its like a disease,



a disease in my head



and i don't know what to do,



its like i have a little mouse in my head



who is the saddest mouse



and he controls me



into a nutcase



who cannot control her emotions



who crys at any sight



who cannot sleep at night at all



who is waiting for someone



to rescue her from this hell



please come



please i am pleading on my



hands and knees, god help me



please tell me



what to do



and you didn't



you never told me



i had to figure it out myself,



so thanks for making me



strong and my eyes aren't



tired anymore,



don't try that again.





dont try to kill me



because i will just push you away



push you away



from me.

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Paul Polar's picture

I think it's hard for me to relate to this poem as I'm about as far from a romantic as you can get.

On the other hand I do like the reference to the mouse and how you fit that into the poem.