a woman stands by death
no' afraid of the night
born of nobility
a creation of the darkness
awaken from her sleep
living new things
a child of the earth
deadly as sin
standing amongst a tortured soul
the demon who shared a kiss
the moonlight eluminating his face
a mask of his despair and pain
a touch of mine to his chin
look at the demoness of your thoughts
kissing away crismon tears
my dark prince i am here for you
share with me the shadows
taste with me the blood of life
let me release the evil inside
embrace me
tell me you want it
now dead to love
let me in
i will be your shadow that comforts you
i command you to rise
empower the darkness
let me bleed for you
i am here
just call my name
i will be waiting...
I'd like to prelude this critique by saying how much I truly enjoyed this poem. I really don't think you got enough analyzation in previous comments.
First of all, the allusion toward the deadly sins was a very nice touch and added to the over arching feeling of darkness, perhaps even despondency. Not for me to say, really. The way you successfully created a welling sense of darkness was excellently culminated by the line of "empower the darkness." Similarily, the welling sense of sexual gratification, in whatever sense you meant it as, also climaxed (no pun intended) perfectly with "embrace me" "tell me you want it" "now dead to love" "let me in." Also, along similar lines, the end of the poem was perfectly constructed. "I will be waiting" was a grandiose way to end the poem and leave behind a feeling of desperate longing.
Really, the only negative side of the poem I could find was the beginning. I didn't exactly follow it, but perhaps I'm missing something. If you feel like explaining it to me or something, that'd be great. My screenname on AIM is "Hope of Saturn." Basically, the lines "a woman stands by death, no' afraid of the night born of nobility, a creation of the darkness, awakenf rom her sleep, living new things, a child of the earth." I didn't exactly follow. However, I'm interested to know what it means. You seem to have mastered allegory.
this would cheer anyone up, especially me. :D i loved the words you used, and the whole painted picture in my headed. :D
Thank You, it does and it did.
We seem to keep passing
but never a sign
roaming blindly
time after time...
Hmmm... very interesting poem. Feels like a Vampire poem, but written from the female perspective rather than the male. I really liked the "let me in and heal the darkness within" feel in the poem.
Russ
another
one that
i liked to read