By Ferrell L. 'Huck' Hickson
Here are the rules of the Bud Light Redneck Track and Field,
They be for sports what be extreme for real.
The hundred meter dash has a new twist,
You must chug a Bud Light and not spill,
Run a 100 meters to the outhouse to piss.
The winner has the lowest time and gets another can of swill.
The high jump, now that be a real test,
You bid your heights best,
But it don’t stop there,
For every foot you bid you have to drink a beer.
The winner is the one that actually clears.
Now the pole vault is a sight to see,
After a beer per foot,
They can hardly walk,
Let alone vault on a pole so wee.
Now the relays are fun,
Those lushes falling all over the place,
Just trying to run.
To start they must chug a beer
Then carry enough around for their peers.
Now come time for the hand off,
The next runner can drink or let the previous runner scoff.
Most times this ends in a riot,
As the first runner wants to drink it all,
And it ends up in a fight.
Now the Javelin
Is the sport for a real man,
You chug your beer, and start heavin’
You try to hit the can in your opponent’s hand.
First one to do it, is the winning man.
If worse comes to worse,
It is the last one standing,
Whichever comes first.
The shotput had to be cancelled this year,
Cause Billy Bob Hornedecker put a shot through the judge's ear,
Seems he caught him sneakin' off with Billy Bob's case of beer.
Well you all get the gist here,
Enjoy the games and drink Bud Light Beer.