PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Hello.

Today i sit in front of my window, and stare at some trees or something.

I have a lot of work to do, in my dissertation. It's due on the 10th of March which gives me a little over 2 weeks to write it.

I'm not sure if I can do it, and i am terrified inside. My problem is not in the intellectual department.

mY lack of motivation can be characterised as a feeling of being disconnected. i'm here at university, the place i believed to hold my dreams of happiness and parties and shit.

But it's been nothing but a huge dissapointment, a place where i have to continue to not exist. Something has died inside of me, my reality within is not tangible, the cross over between who i am and reality requires my imagination, and my imagination died a long tiome ago.

Right now, my house mate kelly has cleaned our house, and I cannot do anything without fear that i will create any mess, and be confronted. i cannot bear confrontation.

My dissertation is about public interest immunity and how its used in the criminal justice system. basically a criminal has evidence witheld from them because it is not in the public interest to reveal it to them, for instance the identity of an informer.

Any how, I'm gonna go smoke a ciggarette, in the hope that lung cancer can finish me before i have to be confronted by the fact that i might have to do it myself. its just easier that way, denial often is. After my cigarrette i will try and comence on my paper again, and see what happens. I have to at least give it a shot.