Author Information
poem_006_I_Just_Wanted_To_Make_You_Proud
Again I did something wrong again I was scolded
I was his ball of clay that was being remolded
My life was being set the way he had intended
At times his harsh words made me feel it should be ended
I did everything I could do to satisfy his request
But I never could and I became suicidal depressed
Such a young age and adult responsibilities
My father expecting more than my capabilities
Many times I was struck by his brutal words and hand
And all I needed was for him to try and understand
To understand my soft heart
And how we were splitting apart
And how his harsh beatings scarred
Making my life extremely hard
I was his lil princess, his first, his oldest
Yet he continues to treat me the coldest
On the outside I seemed so elated
Never showing how much I felt hated
“Daddy, I love you” I would just cry
But it was not returned and I just sigh
Neglected in love
Ignored with a shove
Many times I thought of executing my life
Thinking of slitting my throat with a knife
I do my best I try so hard
Every time he draws another card
Another mission for me to complete
Another mission I fail to meet
Again I did something wrong again I was scolded
I was his ball of clay that was being remolded
But now I put him in his place
And I won’t have to see his frowning face
Six feet under deep below ground
And now he can’t command another sound
Inspired by: Yasuo Pack (my dad)
Made on: 2004
hahahahah you had to kill the father, I'm sorry if I'm laughing, just that i did not think the ending will be that brutal.... but, good and effective poem, watch out for the undesirable parents....
Another more-than-fine poem from you. It really made me think, as my Mum and I never got on that great until my 'worst' suicide attempt (that I made due to clinical depression, NOT my Mum's treatment of me), when I ended up in Intensive Care on a ventilator for a month, suffering from aspiration pneumonia (due to inhaling my vomit after the overdose), then septicaemia (the lung infection spread into my blood), and then I caught MRSA in there (the so-called hospital 'super-bug'). I am now thankful to have made the "miraculous recovery" that I did (as one of the Doctors in there called it). But, oh god, apologies again for ranting on about myself, all I basically wanted to say was that if you have ever attempted such things in your life then I for one am SO GRATEFUL you failed (as I'm sure everyone is), and I am very glad to read in your Author's Comments that your Dad didn't actually treat you as badly as the Dad in the poem did.
I'm REALLY sorry I've gone on about myself, it's just that poetry DOES remind one of their own experiences and I also feel already that I can share these experiences with you.
Great work, as always, you captured the experience of parental maltreatment of their child well (is maltreatment the right word? I seem to think it is at time of writing!).
Hope you are well, and I shall be composing my next 'poetic' installment for your gusetbook very soon!
TAAvSM x