Why can't it all go away? The pain
I feel every time I think about the
past. I just want to hurt somebody or
something. I want to right the wrongs
and wrong the rights. Why can't it all be
like it was a year ago when I had friends
who cared? When I had a somewhat
stable life. Why did this all end so
quickly? What have I done to deserve
this? Have I been so wrong in my life that
I deserve to be shut out by the one I would
die for? The ones who I would rather be in
their place if they ever got hurt; so that I
could take all of the hurt, so that they didn't
have to go through it. I used to pride myself
on being the one who was nice enough
to understand when someone had a problem
and help them solve it. Where are my problem
solvers? Where are the people who will
listen to me when I have a problem?
I gave years of my life not bothering
anybody with my problems because
theirs always seemed more important. I have
died inside more than once because of
people I thought were friends. I have given
more than any human should whether it
goes UN noticed or not. I have given
money, drugs, and my fucking life for these people.
And what do I get in return nothing absolutely
nothing. I am sick and tired of being
sick and tired. I am sick to my stomach
over the whole thing
I hope you don't mind me saying Gwen but those words I just read could have come from my very own lips and if I'm not mistaken have. Every situation is differant but I find so often the consequences are still the same. Hang in there. I still haven't found one single human being to do for me as I do for others but I have found One who more then makes up for them... ask me some time...if you'd like.
Lots of Love
~ Shane Christopher ~