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Coping
This can't be real, I'm in a daze,
Is it all just a dream?
Can't compute this assault of pain,
Memory is my foe.
At times forget the pain inside,
A moment here and there.
But like a flood, it all comes back,
Immersed in deep despair.
And then I feel guilt combined,
How dare I leave my pain?
Surrounded by this cloud of grief,
I'm nothing without you.
How do I rise, how do I cope,
Don't want to face the day.
The greatest pain is when I rise,
The sparkle of the morn.
As if the wound is opened new,
My grief re-lived again.
I wonder at how long it last,
This pain of each new day?
Sleep is sweet with forgetfulness,
Lacking all that I’ve been through.
When I visit you in that place,
We chat like yesterday.
Right there nothing seems out of place,
We laugh and joke once more,
And then the waking brings to my mind,
Events that just passed by.
I cannot stand, fall to my knees,
Cry in anger out to God.
Take me instead! Why not take me!?!
It’s just too cruel to bear!
Do you not see I'm just a shell,
Now worthless in this world.
Parents must not live past their young.
I can’t continue on.
For all I've done, I've done for her.
Energy’s all been spent.
Don't have the strength to rise again,
I only want to sleep.
A purpose here? What could it be?
Causing my soul to bleed.
Please, no advice, don't want to talk.
Save it for one who cares.
I know a pain, I've never known.
A hurt beyond all else.
Life cannot be more hard than this.
What's left for me to do?
The days go by, I muddle through.
Somehow I mask the pain.
Search for ways to erase my mind,
To ease the pain inside.
Dive into work and vice today,
Push to just going on.
How do I stay in this playground of life?
When my playmate is no longer around!
The next few years will be the test,
If I can find my way.
Can't wait to end this trial-life,
And be with you again.
Finding joy in the little things,
In moments here and there.
Keep seeing you in oddly ways,
At times you reappear.
So glad that we can stay in touch,
Our souls are intertwined.
There's such a hole without you here,
You’re ever in my mind.
