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WHY
You say you would never hurt me, but that is exactly what you do. You say you would never lay a hand on me, so instead you beat me with a shoe. Not allowing to show my body off, or cry out for help. As if you're saying "No, you are going to stay with me.....in this Hell!" You say you love me then turn around and inflict pain. I've gotten so used to it that I have begun hurting myself, after all I have nothing to lose....or gain. I can't take it anymore, I dont want to live in fear. I dont want to live at all....not hear. Before I leave this Hell, I have a question. Why? Why would you hurt me if you claim to love me? You must have know, that one day, I would flee.
GOODBYE....
The idea is there, but needs refinement.
I think you had some good framework and some good ideas coming into the poem, but you should work on your lay out, and on making it less of a story, decent first attempt however.
Спасибо! Я благодарю!
Nicely written but needs a few revisions.
This is a very deep poem. I really really like it, but you wrote it in story format. Fix that up and this'll be swell! Great job!
a.D.h