Atop
A trembling shelf.
You're mounting
Useless weight
Upon yourself.
But soon
The cards you've dealt the world
Will come back to your hand.
And before you try to understand
What they once meant
You'll snap...
Like a rubber band of chaos
Stretched beyond its will
To self contain
Its own existence.
A bubble of stacked insecurities
Will pop.
And your frozen thoughts
Will crumble into ice.
Shards spread across the floor
Of your rooted fears, lies...
The personas you've created
For those precious eyes
Thrown about the tile
For all to see...
All those secret skins
Covered in cloths of deception.
Of sin...
Of perplexion...
God, doesn't it burn
When you can't even discern
Your own guise?
But,
I lie...
I stand before you
With these lines that seem to just abhor you.
But really I adore you.
You're much too clean.
I'm shifting all the filth, obscene
To you.
So I can see
The blackness that I breathe --
The smoke within a charcoal heart.
The reasons I am bleeding out my feelings
In the dark.
When curtains fall around the stage
And I can come to terms
With all the words that made me.
Crafting up a monologue
That just may save me
If I finally come clean...
If I finally...
Take the time to be...
The wonder that your eyes have shined in me.
The blood... the tears...
The aching... the pleasure... the fears... the treasures...
The years
That untold measures have quelled...
The cluttered words
That stumble through my lips
When I try to spell
The world within --
desire...
But...
Reluctant saliva
Extinguishes the fire
In my throat...
And in minutes,
The words I spoke
Are as obsolete
As your previous breath --
Striving only for the next
Utterance...
This is good and I like it. Rubber bands and ice never stop the urges.