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{What Are You Living For?}::
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April 2007 Choking on words and full of regret
The pain you wish you could forget
A heart full of pain and a scar filled wrist
You never knew life woudl take a painful twist
No one to hear your cries and your pleas
They all treat you like you are a disease
They shut you out, they never listen
Would they search for you if you were missing
Not a soul you can go to when you feel hurt and confused
Nobody gives a shit if you are bruised
No one ever said your dreams could come true
You feel so worthless because they never told you that you could do anything you set your mind to
You only heard their yelling
You were victim to all the cursing
Even when it was not meant for you
You had to deal with all the damage they put you through
Can't put your heart out there
You don't dare take the risk
Afraid of being hurt even more
You continue, wondering what you are living for
All the guys fed you lies to believe
They said you were pretty but you were so naive
Many times you feel under their spell
Walking your way into hell
At first things seem so fine
He says, "Your heart belongs to me"
and you reply, " and your heart is mine"
But foolish girl.....If only you could really see...
After a while you get suspicious, they start acting strange
You wonder why all of a sudden they change
Is it them or is it you
How do you fix this, what can you do
It never changes...the story always ends the same
Tired of this shit, you ponder who's to blame
This isnt a game you want to play
Sick of this so called love thing ending this way
Why do you believe them when they treat you like a queen
You are just another girl lost in the scene
It never changes, no...
Never changes no matter how far you dare go
You wish that you could go back to being a child
When you were happy, free and wild
No one could hurt you or break your heart
Nothing was ever strong enough to tear you apart
What happened to you, you became so fragile
You shatter in a million pieces everytime love says goodbye
What are you living for ...
Is it just a lie...
You would take it back, every ' I Love You'
The words that ruined your life
Wishing they would have never been said
Maybe then you could have stayed away from the knife
But as you notice all your scars and watch them grow more and more
You wonder what in the world you are living for...
Always in longer states of depression, ever do I wonder. My parents wonder why they are the last to know things...they don't listen at all, just critize, like I need that when I am down and out, the weakest. I hate that so much. Only really, my friend listens. I had another friend, but he's a predictor so...
I like this lots
Essence