The Pain They Never Knew

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May 2007

I painted on a smile

Came up with a lie

It was so brilliant

I was so good at hiding the truth that I wanted to die



Covered up my cuts and scars with baggy clothes

Sweaters in the summertime and they didn't even have a clue

Forever full of oblivion

My pain, they never knew



Million tears to fall asleep

Deep down inside, this big secret I had to keep

Nobody knew what I knew was real

Or all the moments I wished I could not feel



Mascara smeared and I could not answer why

I covered up the truth with a million lies

I could not tell why I hurt myself

Or why my heart was put on the back of a shelf



If I told them the truth, then I could no longer deny

The reality of only wanting to die

I dont want them to see because they would never understand

and I dont want to explain myself because they will never know who I am



They say they care, but how could they when they never knew

They were so oblivious to the hell I went through

It does not matter anymore, anyway

I will make it through and make it through okay



They cant hurt me anymore

At least not anymore than they have before

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Essence Scott's picture

And my parents want to know why I cry and they are so clueless....and they deserve it.

Essence