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Random Shit.
i'm finally realizing how much pain it is, to be hurt by the one girl who acually treated me like something more than shit. i'm finally realizing how much it hurts to be let go of by someone i really cared about for the first time in my life
if i only had just one breath, i would breathe for you. if i only had just one hug, i would hug you. if i only had just one kiss, i would kiss you. if i only had one more minute left on this earth, i would spend it with you
you lose someone
and you think you can go on.
but then you start to realize.
the shock starts to go away.
the pain rolls on in.
and your loss becomes
something more.
something huge and big and scary.
something you realize.
that you can't face alone.
[ je t'aime pour toujours ]
i'll love you forever...
for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm doing something right. because when i look at her, its there. in everything he does to me, its there. i dont know what it is, but i know that it is there, and its never going to leave
he layed with me on my couch. with his arms wrapped around me he said "baby, you are so beautiful." later, finally, i remembered to breathe.
lean my head on your shoulder as we sit together. my fingers are tangled up with yours, and we're both remembering the times we've spent together. these times i'm remembering, they're the best times of my life.
I wonder what its like when a dream dies inside you. do you cry as you watch it slip away?
girl : you mean so much to me, i never want to lose you, ever.
boy : i promise to you that you will never have to worry about losing me, i already made that mistake once, and i'm not going to do it again.
girl : but how do i know? i'm always going to worry.
boy: don't worry. i'd never do that, trust me i'd die if i lost you
girl + i love you.
boy + i love you more.
girl + i don't know if thats POSSIBLE...
boy + of course it is, because i love you more than anyone or anything else in the world.
me`- do you want me to call you tonight?
girl`- yes, if you want.
me`- of course i want to, hearing your voice every night is the next best thing to being with you all the time.
I hope your thinking about me, babe. `cause i can`t keep my mind off of you.
you asked me one night if i talked on the phone with my eyes closed. i said yes, because then i can almost be with you wherever you are.
****can't wait to see you, hear your voice, feel your hand in mine, stand so close to you that i can feel your heartbeat. i can't wait for you to hold me again, with you saying your never letting go****10.12.07memories
funny how everytime i hear your voice say my name, everything is perfect.
ohh please don't cry, you only just lost the best thing you ever had.
you know you don't want it bad enough when you let it slip through your fingers.
**I wanna be the girl you don't call a waste of time.
i wanna be the girl you can't forget.**
~~~************when you think about her, when you whisper her name,
does she know you told me you'd love me forever?************~~~
you smile, then look away, embarrassed that you were caught watching me. but remember, i was looking back. <3 10.12.07 memories
one of the worst feelings in the world,
is waking up the morning after she broke up with you,
thinking everything is still amazing
and then remembering; that its not.
have you ever fallen asleep to the sound of rain? its like magic inside when you know you should shut your window, but you just want to keep on listening, as if that will make it go on forever.
************its finally sinking in that your gone.*************
from the first time that i cried, when i lost that sleep.
i'm not regretting it now, i know i loved you more than life.
please, just don't forget me
****that night; we had one of those "i love you more" contests. and i could have sworn that you won.*******
*********that first kiss we shared, i'm going to remember it forever. i'm going to remember that it was in this exact spot, i'm going to remember who was around. but most of all, i'm going to remember you******************************10.12.07 memories
you know yourself. you know you love him. but the only thing you don't seem to know is; why he can't love you back
i want the kind of love where you are with him all the time. where you have pillow fights, or throw balloons at eachother. where he'll give me ice cream and then shove it in my face. where he wants to know exactly what was said everytime i talk to another boy, because he "just wants to make sure nothings going on" where he'll walk beside me. but mainly, just where he'll love me.
and that one scene from that night
keeps running through my head
like a movie with no end****************************************10.12.07 memories.always.
i'm the type of girl that guys i've dated talk to me three months later saying, "baby i'm still not over you." (iactullyam)
she still makes me happier than anyone else could ever make me.
she's always going to be the one i can't forget. my first love, the most amazing chick i've ever met
girl: if you could have one thing in the whole world, what would it be?
boy: the key to your heart
on the way there.. i got nervous.. but the butterfly in my stomach kind of nervous. i wanted to see you, feel you. when i saw you, the butterflies went away, like they always do, my heart goes back to normal, and we talk, sit, and watch the movie. but after the movie is done is when the butterflies come back. we still sit in the theatre, not wanting to move. then i feel your face turn towards me, and then your lips are on mine. the butterflies leave, and i let myself get lost in the taste of you.. wondering if anyone else could ever make me feel this way.*********************10.12.07 memories
keep me safe here in your arms. stay with me, and keep me warm. i'd be ready for anything tonight, just hold my hand and let the rest of the world go on.......
young girl don't cry, ill be right here when your world starts to fall.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I would hold you in my arms, I would take your pain away thank you fro all you've done, forgive all your mistakes.
__Because I'll never let this go.But I can't find the words to tell you.I don't want to be alone.But now I feel like I don't know you.
__She doesn't look, she doesn't see.Opens up for nobody.Figures out, she figures out.Narrow line, she can't decide.Everything short of suicide.Never hurts, nearly works.
__This is going to bring me clarity.This'll take the heart right out of me.
__This is going to bring me to my knees.I just want to hold you close to me
__Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.Maybe you want her, maybe you need her.
__Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another.
__You need me less than I need you.You can trust me trust nobody.But I said you and me.We dont have honesty.The things we dont want to speak.Ill try to get out but I never will.
__I'd rather run the other way than stay and see.The smoke and who's still standing when it clears.
__And suddenly I become a part of your past.I'm becoming the part that don't last.I'm losing you and its effortless.
__I would have stayed up with you all night.Had I known how to save a life.
__There's really no way to reach me.'Cause I'm already gone.
__Everyone knows im in over my head.
__And why do we like to hurt so much?
__I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win.
__Pain make your way to me, to me.And I'll always be just so inviting.If I ever start to think straight,This heart will start a riot in me.
__And when it rains,Will you always find an escape?Just running away,From all of the ones who love you,From everything.
__Somewhere weakness is our strength,And I'll die searching for it.Our memorey remains just a tiny spark.I give it all my oxygen, so let the flames begin.
__Don't look up,Just let them think There's no place else You'd rather be.
__And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.Just living proof that the camera's lying.
__Cause we are broken.What must we do to restore Our innocence.And oh, the promise we adored.Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole.
__We held the world out in our hands and you ran away.It takes some time to let you go and it shows.
__Maybe if my heart stops beating.It won't hurt this much.
__One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alright.And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending
Just like I am tonight.
__I thought that we'd make it,Because you said that we'd make it through.And when all security fails,Will you be there to help me through?
__Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
__This heart, it beats, beats for only you.
__For once in my life,I'm scared to death,I'm taking a chance,letting you inside.
__And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you.
__i'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all i've held onto.
__i'm living for the only thing i know.i'm running and not quite sure where to go.i don't know what i'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you.
__you calm the storms,you give me rest,you hold me in your hands,you won't let me fall.you still my heart and you take my breath away.
__'cause you're all i want,you are all i need,you are everything,everything.
__You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.
__sooner or later it's over.I just don't want to miss you tonight.
__When everything feels like the movies;Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive.
__And I don't want the world to see me,Cuz I don't think that they'd understand.
&& she hates how she stays up half
the night, analyzing his every word
trying to find out if he's fallen for her
as hard as she's fallen for him...
just becuase she comes off strong doesnt
mean she didn't fall asleep crying.
&& even if she acts like nothings wrong,
maybe she's just really good at l y i n g
She's been hurt many times before this.
You'd think it would be a routine by now.
You'd think she wouldnt let it get to her.
But the truth is, she trusted you
&&Ihopeyouknow
how hard it is
to watch you fall
in love with her
&&sometimes I wish I didn't love you as much as
I do because then it would make life much easier
to move on && find someone new..
it's so cute
the way she acts
like nothing is
bothering her when
really everything is
you stole my heart.
you ripped it out.
smashed it on the ground.
and i smiled because
you touched me.
She's just the typical teenage girl:
insecure, hurt, and confused.
I'd tell her things will be okay.
But I don't want to lie to her.
Should I smile because we're friends..
Or cry 'cause thats all we'll ever be.
they all tell me that he's not
good enough for me,
but it makes me think that
they are just trying to make me
feel better;
because I think I'm the one who's
not good enough for him.
she's the type of girl
who tries not to like you..
but ends up falling for
you even harder than before
behindhersmile
are stories you will n.e.v.e.r understand
what makes it different
is that I want to be with you
more than she does.
I see the way you look at her.
It's killing me inside.
I think about what we were,
And how those feelings died...
Love can mend your life...
Love can break your heart.
"If I could move I'd cut it to kill you,
like you killed me within.
So now I'd say you look beautiful,
dead upon the floor."
&& im not even going to get mad anymore
I just learned to expect the very lowest
from The people I thought the highest of.
sometimes it's easier to say
you're mad than to admit that
you're actually just hurt.
sometimes;; you gotta put the
| walls | up not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough to [break] them down
i keep my shit behind
even when tears are
streaming down my face
i still manage to say
" im fine"
you see that girl? yeah her. she seems
so invincible, right. but just touch her &
she'll wince. she has secrets && trusts
no-one. she's the perfect example of <3
betrayal. 'cause everyone that she ever
trusted, broke her.
she's addicted to the song lyrics
that spill her heart out for her.<3
And all the hurt in my voice will shatter
all the glass in this city and all the pieces
will point at you. They'll pin your body to
the ground so everyone can walk all over you.
i`m done pretending, so here goes:
no, i`m not okay with the fact that
you broke my heart. no, i`m not okay
with the fact that we don`t even talk
anymore. & to top it all off? no, i`m not
okay with the fact that i fell in love
with you in the first place.
I've thought about you so many times.
I've tried to get over you but each time I fail.
I stay up at night wondering what you are doing.
And honestly it's starting to scare me.
I'm scared that I'm just wasting my time on
someone who will never love me back.
I can't figure out whats worse-
having to know every single detail
of your desperate love for some
other girl, or having to know that
you obviously didnt even come
close to feeling the same way
A B O U T M E
I saw her staring at me.
Not glancing, but blatantly staring.
And I wondered if she was staring
at the wreckage she created
or if maybe, just maybe she regretted
ever hurting me in the first place.
done
