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i am ill , ill with love, ill with the feeling of isolation, loneliness, and being scared.

i am fading, fading into darkness, fading into nothing and still feeling isolation, loneliness, and being scared.

but here you are, you are here with me, you love me for my good and my bad, my ugly and my beautiful.and i dont know why. slowly the isolation, loneliness, and being scared, fades.

but you are only here with me in spirit.for i am here, and you are there and all i hear is your voice. but i have fallen for you, baby, and i reluctantly question that.

i fear, i fear the day i get to see your sweet face again. i fear you will not want me and yet again the waves of isolation, loneliness, and being scared, come back.

then i fall, i fall into unconsciousness. i fall into a deep sleep and dreams of you fill my head and will probably spill over into my days if i ever wake. there is something about my baby that makes me feel so many differenty things at the same time:isolation, loneliness, and being scared but also completion, consideration,compassion,sadness, and love.

i want you, i want you so much,babe, you dont even know. you tell me of all your problems and your unsafe escapes from the pain.i want to help you,sweetie, i want to be part of your completion, i can help you, i can hold you in my arms and let you know that, "i am here for you, and i will try, with every fiber of my being, to make it better." i want to let you know this, i do, but i cant and i dont know why.

so i awake, i awake wishing that when i open my eyes, i will see you leaning over me greeting me into another day and thankful for my life.but you arent, and my heart sinks into my stomach because now i have to go through another day hoping that every blink, every caugh, every laugh, every movement, is my last because i know i have to try and survive another day unable to hug you,kiss you, hold you, look at you, or smile with you.and here comes, again and even stronger than ever, th

isolation

loneliness

and the feeling of being scared.