Goodbye Friend
I didn’t know, when I hugged you for a quick goodbye at the airport, it would be the last time I saw you.
A small thing at first. Unimaginably… (Is this really us?) discord, distrust, frustration, anger.
Escalate, escalate, escalate.
A war of words and harder to believe, a war of attorneys.
Betrayal and counter-betrayal. Trust destroyed.
The fabric of sharing twenty years of friendship, daily phone calls, husbands, and babies--ripped beyond recognition.
Three years have passed and I seem to have forgotten to be angry. The sadness has settled into a solid thing I know and accept. Lately I have found myself just thinking of you, almost in the old way. I see your favorite coffee drink and smile for a second knowing you would enjoy it.
In my best parts I pray you are not lonely. In a secret place I hope you are a little—that you miss me too. I had a dream about you the other night: in it I almost ran into you, and I turned before you could see me, to hurry away in a panic. I know that is the true reality of who we are. We can never go back. There could never be that level of trust. I don’t even know if investing that much in our friendship was healthy.
Three years have passed since I hugged your neck for a quick goodbye at the airport. I used to love you with all my heart. For a while I hated you. Now I feel sad. I’m glad to finally shed tears over you and our friendship.
I never got to say goodbye, so now I do my friend. Goodbye.