PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

It’s good that everyone in Amsterdam can speak English.  It makes getting around a lot easier.  But I did often forget , that maybe, they weren’t always up on the latest slang or colloquial expressions.

There were times that cryptic remarks would go sailing off into the ether.  They weren’t always catching the sly, sometimes sardonic wit.  (Although to be fair, a lot of Americans who preach English only struggle mightily with the language.)

One example of this was the time I was at the Blues Brothers Coffeeshop.  I had finished a beer and bogarted a roach.  The bartender asked me if I wanted another beer.

My response was, “Well okay, if you’re going to twist my arm.” to which she responded with great alarm.  She was just looking at me like “What the Fuck?”

And so now I’m trying to explain to her that it’s just an expression; a mere figure of speech.  Us wacky Americans we come up with all kinds of twisted phrases to express ourselves.  Even a person fluent in the language can be lost if you use too many common expressions.

It was a drag.  I could’ve just stayed in America if I wanted to make a complete ass out of myself in front of an exceptionally lovely young woman.  Worse of all is that I wasn’t even trying to impress her.  That might be the worst part of all.

I did manage to get another beer but that’s about all I managed to get.  She didn’t make much effort to spend much time at my end of the bar so conversation was out.  I was left to sit alone and brood over my beer.  It’s certainly not the first time I was stuck alone brooding over a beer.

It is a bit discomfiting to know that language is no barrier to me making a total ass of myself in front of women.  As if my self esteem wasn’t low enough already.   I guess this is just one of those universal things guaranteed to translate into any language or culture.  Just don’t expect me to be especially happy about the situation.

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