THE ALPHABET OF STARS

Folder: 
SYD BARRETT AVENUE

 

 

Seeking to find some

                     sort of vision

 

          to shine thru

                     the perpetual darkness

 

            that surrounds

                        my soul

Seeing a portrait

                    of the night

          with moonbeams

 

                  slithering

             past

                my eternal Hell

 

I try to follow

           the luminous night

                    that transpires

       in a single dream

 

I follow a light

               that shines;        

                   it illuminates

      the darkest hour

 

               of my lonely

                             despair

 

A ray of hope

            silhouettes

          the madness

                   plaguing my soul

 

I can’t see thru

                  these barriers

         that I built

              before you

 

I can’t see you

              thru the dim walls

         that surround

                my delusions

 

I know you’re there

                   somewhere

        thru the clouds

           that hover in the sky

 

           blocking out

     the alphabet of stars

                    from my sight

 

I seek you thru

               the endless night;

          the endless trail

 

           that I am

               continuing to follow

            in this lonely

                  and desperate night

 

I search for you

                  As I vainly

        struggle to find

 

               the morning sunrise

          finally offering respite

                  from the coldness

              of night

 

 

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Spinoza's picture

I feel this one

 

A lot of darkness in the world these days – that’s for sure. This brings to mind an image of “Starry Night”

 

I can feel this one. It’s a stand-up ovation from me… beautifully done.

georgeschaefer's picture

I'll thake any comparison to

I'll thake any comparison to Van Gogh.  thanks for reading and commenting

redbrick's picture

An exquisitely formatted "I"

An exquisitely formatted "I" poem. In the past it was drilled into us how the "I" in poetry was a non-negotiable taboo! Good going George Smile

 


here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver

georgeschaefer's picture

Each person has their own

Each person has their own point of view.  You should be expressing yourself in your poetry.  Pundits and scholars be damned, first person narrative can really drive home that point.

Seryddwr's picture

First, the typograhical

First, the typograhical layout of the lines attracts the eye, and by keeping it moving (a more radical motion than the usual lineation associated with Poetry), it gives the poem a visual sense of motion as well as the aural sense, which moves us through the development of the poem's entire content and point.

  This poem reminds me of a period in my own life---the first of several---when I was separated (compulsorily) from my home, and all that I had known growing up, and the nights, even during the last part of summer when that separation began, felt cold indeed, although they really were not.  I was able to return to my home, temporarily, for about six weeks, and the nights (which, at that time, had become chilly) seemed warmer than they should have been.  I did not realize, until this year during its summer, why I was able to survive that separation.  (That is a subject for a poem I intend to write.)

    Your poem transcends the specifically personal to enter the realm of universal experience, and I suspect that every first year college student, every recruit in boot camp, and every newlywed who has just experienced the first bitter argument of the marriage can relate to the details in the poem, without knowing your personal circumstances.  In this poem which, in my opinion, is the most brilliant of your poems that I have read, you strike that most difficult of balances---to take a personal emotion and write of it in a way that detaches from your personal circumstances and enters the universal, the timeless, and the instructive.  This is quite an achievement; and, like the finest of the Classic Poets, you make it look easy without revealing how very difficult it is.  I applaud your accomplishment in this poem, sir, and if I have been a bit verbose, it is only because the Poem inspires a gush of words in response to its total effect.  This poem is a centerpiece to your total collection, and it is one of the centerpieces of the entire postpoems collection as well.


Seryddwr

georgeschaefer's picture

thank you for the kind words

thank you for the kind words