Seeking to find some
sort of vision
to shine thru
the perpetual darkness
that surrounds
my soul
Seeing a portrait
of the night
with moonbeams
slithering
past
my eternal Hell
I try to follow
the luminous night
that transpires
in a single dream
I follow a light
that shines;
it illuminates
the darkest hour
of my lonely
despair
A ray of hope
silhouettes
the madness
plaguing my soul
I can’t see thru
these barriers
that I built
before you
I can’t see you
thru the dim walls
that surround
my delusions
I know you’re there
somewhere
thru the clouds
that hover in the sky
blocking out
the alphabet of stars
from my sight
I seek you thru
the endless night;
the endless trail
that I am
continuing to follow
in this lonely
and desperate night
I search for you
As I vainly
struggle to find
the morning sunrise
finally offering respite
from the coldness
of night
I feel this one
A lot of darkness in the world these days – that’s for sure. This brings to mind an image of “Starry Night”
I can feel this one. It’s a stand-up ovation from me… beautifully done.
I'll thake any comparison to
I'll thake any comparison to Van Gogh. thanks for reading and commenting
An exquisitely formatted "I"
An exquisitely formatted "I" poem. In the past it was drilled into us how the "I" in poetry was a non-negotiable taboo! Good going George
here is poetry that doesn't always conform
galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver
Each person has their own
Each person has their own point of view. You should be expressing yourself in your poetry. Pundits and scholars be damned, first person narrative can really drive home that point.
First, the typograhical
First, the typograhical layout of the lines attracts the eye, and by keeping it moving (a more radical motion than the usual lineation associated with Poetry), it gives the poem a visual sense of motion as well as the aural sense, which moves us through the development of the poem's entire content and point.
This poem reminds me of a period in my own life---the first of several---when I was separated (compulsorily) from my home, and all that I had known growing up, and the nights, even during the last part of summer when that separation began, felt cold indeed, although they really were not. I was able to return to my home, temporarily, for about six weeks, and the nights (which, at that time, had become chilly) seemed warmer than they should have been. I did not realize, until this year during its summer, why I was able to survive that separation. (That is a subject for a poem I intend to write.)
Your poem transcends the specifically personal to enter the realm of universal experience, and I suspect that every first year college student, every recruit in boot camp, and every newlywed who has just experienced the first bitter argument of the marriage can relate to the details in the poem, without knowing your personal circumstances. In this poem which, in my opinion, is the most brilliant of your poems that I have read, you strike that most difficult of balances---to take a personal emotion and write of it in a way that detaches from your personal circumstances and enters the universal, the timeless, and the instructive. This is quite an achievement; and, like the finest of the Classic Poets, you make it look easy without revealing how very difficult it is. I applaud your accomplishment in this poem, sir, and if I have been a bit verbose, it is only because the Poem inspires a gush of words in response to its total effect. This poem is a centerpiece to your total collection, and it is one of the centerpieces of the entire postpoems collection as well.
Seryddwr
thank you for the kind words
thank you for the kind words