I feel like I've been trapped in time,
Locked forever in suspended animation,
As if this present life has gone on eternal,
Yet, I know it hasn't.
I have memories of the past,
When I was new, insignificant and small.
Not like today, so seasoned and so breakable,
But, a babe full of life.
My mama was young, sweet and fair.
My papa, the lord of the world and the heavens.
I was ten. I could fly. I could carry a tune.
The earth was my oyster.
Then, I was fresh, pleasing sixteen.
My future was bright. I would be a great dancer.
I caste my fate to the winds without trepidation.
I lived in rose pointe shoes.
One day, I was twenty, so strong.
No pain was too great. No challenge could claim me.
I loved life. I ate life. I swallowed it down whole.
Breasts so firm, lips so full.
And then came thirty, sensual.
I laboured unmerciful with athletic grace.
I loved with a power one could never perceive.
Such coquetish passions.
And I dreamed of faraway stars.
They filled deep chasms of joyless nights and salt tears.
I danced all alone, in my heart, in my children.
I was beautiful.
I remember all of this. It's past,
But, it seems that these memories are still right here.
They come and they go. They don't linger, but, they happened.
I believe that, right now.
Now, I am fifty. I am old.
My hair is becoming grey. I'ver learned I can't fly.
If you read this, know now, it's not all that I am.
I am beautiful.
Will someone indeed remember?
This is who I have been forever and ever.
Will someone remember other than the one who is
Locked, suspended in time?
04/02/01