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I feel like I've been trapped in time,

Locked forever in suspended animation,

As if this present life has gone on eternal,

Yet, I know it hasn't.



I have memories of the past,

When I was new, insignificant and small.

Not like today, so seasoned and so breakable,

But, a babe full of life.



My mama was young, sweet and fair.

My papa, the lord of the world and the heavens.

I was ten. I could fly. I could carry a tune.

The earth was my oyster.



Then, I was fresh, pleasing sixteen.

My future was bright. I would be a great dancer.

I caste my fate to the winds without trepidation.

I lived in rose pointe shoes.



One day, I was twenty, so strong.

No pain was too great. No challenge could claim me.

I loved life. I ate life. I swallowed it down whole.

Breasts so firm, lips so full.



And then came thirty, sensual.

I laboured unmerciful with athletic grace.

I loved with a power one could never perceive.

Such coquetish passions.



And I dreamed of faraway stars.

They filled deep chasms of joyless nights and salt tears.

I danced all alone, in my heart, in my children.

I was beautiful.



I remember all of this. It's past,

But, it seems that these memories are still right here.

They come and they go. They don't linger, but, they happened.

I believe that, right now.



Now, I am fifty. I am old.

My hair is becoming grey. I'ver learned I can't fly.

If you read this, know now, it's not all that I am.

I am beautiful.



Will someone indeed remember?

This is who I have been forever and ever.

Will someone remember other than the one who is

Locked, suspended in time?



04/02/01