Authentic fan—

I’m an authentic fan.

I have the team’s logo 

branded on my arm

and I dyed my dog’s hair 

to match the  team color.


Authentic fan?

This is to be glorified?
Don’t actually engage 

or participate in any activity.


Just sit on your ass

and rant and rave 

over the results of a game

in which you yourself

don’t actually participate.


Sit on your ass

and critique the players.

This now is a badge of honor?


What next?

Non-participation trophies?


And now the award

for best tattoo of a team logo

inked on a penis. . .


Maybe we should all

live a little of our own lives


and not try to live 

so vicariously through

the actions of others.




Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am a fan.  I just find the notion of competing to be the "biggest fan" kind of silly.  But I do like the idea of non-participation trophies.  I might actually get one of those.

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allets's picture

Never Been Big On Sports

The days of Bobo Brazil and Mickey Mantle are long gone! :D



georgeschaefer's picture

Bobo Brazil was cool.  I was

Bobo Brazil was cool.  I was also pretty big on Bruno Sammartino, Chief Jay Strongbow, Pedro Morales, Dick the Bruiser, Dusty Rhodes.--Ah the glory days of wrestling.