PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

If I could kick myself in the ass

I probably would

as swift and hard as possible.

If I could kick myself in the ass

surely it would be deserved

for all the stupid mistakes

for all the opportunities blown.

I failed miserably in love

I took too much acid in the 80’s

But with Reagan’s Alzheimer’s

that may have been a good move.

But I still feel the shame

of wasted potential; unused talent

& think—well why didn’t I?

Guess we can’t go back in time

Can’t go back to my old school

& make amends with everyone;

atone for all the sins I committed.

No, I just have to live with it;

have to suffer the indignity

& humiliation of my defeat.

I think of all the past situations

and all the different ends

that coulda gone down otherwise

but didn’t gone down otherwise.

It’s a real bitch to think

you coulda done this or that

and it woulda worked out;

coulda made the football team

coulda made that cute girl

but didn’t do all these things

If I could kick myself in the ass

for all the boo-boos along the way

I wallowed in self pity

Got drunk and passed out on a bench

In Tompkins Square Park

Woke up drenched in sweat;

eyes unable to focus on street signs
and all over a girl I didn’t know

and couldn’t ever truly know;

another mistake in the ranks;

it’s the story of my life.

I look back with regret

at all the things I didn’t do

I sat around with my thumb up my ass

and didn’t move when I should have

there was a lump in my throat;

ball & chain around my feet

I succumb to self pity

I’m no different than anyone else

Although I really need to be.

I have to be myself

and move on to another level.

I’ve failed miserably

in the effort never set up

to take the better swing;

cry about having a poor at bat

the umpire must be blind in one eye

and can’t see out the other

but the excuses just don’t cut it.

I can cry about injustice

but who’s gonna really buy it?

I can’t even sell myself on it

If I could kick myself in the ass

it would be sharp and severe

just the way I deserve it

for not fully realizing my potential

and all the things I coulda done.

7-11-95