I want you to hold me.
I want you to
kiss to
touch to
tell me you love me…
(You’ve turned away…)
I have held you.
I have caught the sea of stars
that fell
from your glistening lashes…
(You loved me then)
Now
as the rain leaks through the open window
in my chest
I realize I’ve lost you
forever.
And I realize that
this is my doing –
I have planted myself in this
and I’ll never be a flower.
The truth is coarse
like gravel
crushed between my teeth.
I had a vision that
One day years from now
I’ll run into you on a subway and
we’ll exchange glances.
You’ll try to remember my name
as I try to swallow the boulder
lodged
in my throat.
All I know is now –
the present.
And it’s warm in here
I’m cold inside and
these tea leaves smell ancient.
My lungs feel ancient
and heavy…
I will breathe in some sleep….