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“I have high expectations for you.”

That is a common sentence I’ve heard since I can remember. In these adults eyes I seem to be this unique creature you only see once in a lifetime. They always see a light in me that even I can’t see. And because of that light they seem to believe I am going to do great things with my light. They get upset when my light begins to dim and when I can’t seem to reach up high enough to meet their expectations. I spent most of my childhood trying to grow another inch just to reach the bar they set for me, but as I got older I began to hate that bar. I stopped reaching for it. I wanted to scream because my arms were never long enough.

I hated it.

My life began to suffocate me.

I wanted to live, and be wild and be young but I chose to do those things in a different way that began getting me in trouble. I started hearing how disappointed they were in me because they had “expectations” that they wanted me to reach. It wasn’t just my teachers or school therapist who said it but my mother and father and my family. People I cared about being disappointed in me. I didn’t know what to do because I am only one person and old habits die hard.

This poem isn’t me asking for help because of  my habits or because I’m too short to reach up it’s me saying  I refuse to change who I am and what I do because of “expectations”

This poem is for you to not have expectations for me.

For I may never reach them.