1. Asked a guy who gave u that black eye. He replies, no one gave it to me I had to fight for it.
2. When I was in the army the drill Sargent asked a redneck boy beside me where he was from. He said Massachusetts. The drill Sargent said spell it boy. The redneck without blinking says well originally Im from Ohio. O.H.I.O.
3. A boy at McDonald's says he don't like tomatoes. The mom said to the boy, but u like ketchup. That's weird. I asked if she ever stuck her fry in a tomato.
4. Watching cribs on MTV, is like watching my stud horse trot around. I feel so undesirable.
5. Bought a bag of chips at the airport. I Sit down, a bum sits next to me. I reach down grab my chips open them. I eat a few, I notice the bum eats a few. Got to the last chip, I saw the bum reaching for it. I grab it and ate it. I was like the nerve of that bum. I got on the plane and in my sweatshirt pouch was my bag of chips.
6. Got a helper on my farm the boy was 18. He shows up there's a female goat with her head stuck in the fence. There is a male goat having sex with the stuck female goat. I look at the 18 year old boy and said damn that goat is really going to town. About 2 hours later I realized I needed feed for the horses. I look at the boy and said I really need to go to town. The boy said do I have to put my head in the fence.
7. Walking into Walmart on Mother's Day in front of me a barley teenage girl says to her mother. But I want it, I fucking hate u. I get flowers and a few other things. I get in line to pay. The mother and daughter are in front of me. The girl says to me those are beautiful flowers, your mother must be proud. I said god rest her soul.
8. when I was in 2nd grade I struggled in math. Mainly with anything times 1. In addition my teacher used apples. 1 apple plus 2 apples is 3 apples. But 1 apple times 2 apples. Is 2 apples. I was like where did the apple go. We're supposed to be multiplying, this is more like subtraction.
Good stuff
Good stuff
Thanks
for the laughs ...people need to do more of it.
The Bag Of Chips
Wow! That's a hoot. ~A~