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Holding back on what I need to say ,
I have lost my loving way .
I have lost loving me ,
I am in this misery .
So deep within ,
Do not know where to begin .
I try to think of the day i became ,
the day I never felt the same .
The day I lost love and faith ,
the day I thought my feelings could wait .
Stuck in this mind of mine ,
lost myself back in time .
I try to climb out of this dark abyss ,
It is myself I come to miss .
The person I no longer see ,
the carefree , happy person I used to be .
I believe all would be better without me ,
Instead of this girl stuck in her own misery .
They say to smile it will be better tomorrow ,
they do not understand my feelings forever sorrow .
I sometimes pray for the day of my death ,
then the feeling comes regreat .
The feeling of leaving my loved ones behind ,
They are the ones that keep me here in time .
I ask myself why should I stay ,
If I can not let go of feeling this way .
I hold on for a bit longer ,
and try to fight this deep somber .
I ask for the answers from above ,
I ask will my heart ever love .
Love the person I came to be ,
the one that hides and no one sees .
I need to let go of this grudge I hold ,
The one that grabbed me and forever beholds .