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Jon Lemon & Hare (Short Story)
In front of an audience, Jon Lemon pulls a hat out of a hare's mouth. One second, the hat is white. The next second, the hat is still white. The crowd cheers.
"Quite the contrary," mentions the monocle-wearing hare, "before you is a generous block of aged cheese, not a hat." The crowd laughs.
"You, sir, have a point," declares Jon Lemon, "protruding from your forehead as it would a unicorn's." Once again, the crowd is stirred.
"Certainly so, Mr. Lemon, as does yours, but let's not veer off-topic here." The hare gestures outside the stage with his wand. "Let's veer off-topic outside." The two walk off stage toward the exit as the audience anticipates yet another punchline. All, however, is in vain, for Jon Lemon and his hare do not return.
Under a tree, the two decide to flip a coin. "Not so fast," voices Jon Lemon, "we're under a tree with heads, else we're under a street light with tails." A gust of wind shakes a branch and a head plops to the ground.
"A tree it is," affirms the hare.
"Contrary to a tree it isn't?" asks God from above.
The hare does not reply, for suddenly hunger-stricken, Jon Lemon stones the hare dead with the cheese block and devours him on the spot.
