Author Information
Fiddleburg Town: Seven General Peculiarities
1. Holes are to be fallen into. There was a hole in the ground, so Timothy Fiddleburg gracefully fell into it.
2. Timothy Fiddleburg climbed out a changed man--a woman in fact. The men stood in a single file hand-kissing line, until a blackbird intervened.
3. If a blackbird is spotted under a Palmetto during twilight, nothing of any great significance occurs.
4. However, if a blackberry pastry is consumed within the parameters of Timothy Fiddleburg, an empty dish will result. Worse yet, the dish will desire to be made clean by way of (to be specified).
5. Timothy Fiddleburg fell into the sink, mistaking it for a hole of considerable size. The sink, possessing compassion, turned itself into a hole of considerable size, consuming Timothy Fiddleburg.
6. Ever since, Timothy Fiddleburg developed the ability to physically interact with the reader (you) by way of handshake. In fact, the last person to handshake the reader was Timothy Fiddleburg himself.
7. If a handshake lasts less than seven minutes, Timothy Fiddleburg (you) never truly fell into a hole, nor spotted a sink under a Palmetto, nor consumed a blackbird of considerable size.
