Author Information
The Origin of Swine Flu
Authorities discover the original source of swine flu
within the walls of a Zionist diplomat's wet dream.
Having had enough, the laundry lady throws her bra
into a brush fire, claiming male autonomy while she
stands pissing into flames, extinguishing them, blessing
half-charred trees with state-issued urinal patties.
All citrus-flavored too. Last month, the diplomats
scheduled a meeting with several surviving fruit bugs
from a secret orange grove under the sea. They shake
hands on the banning of shaking hands while changing
the legal finger number to six. Pets are not exempt.
The world court orders mandatory dog leashes to all
pillows over the age of thirteen. Riots ensue, followed
by a banana peel backfire. Not even the best tightrope
walker withstands, so he tries to phone his midgets
and tigers to go under the radar.
However, the phone bites into his ear, causing an end-
less trail of earlobe discharge, ravaging his parasite's
abode. The matter turns into a civil action of remedy
for lost assets. Though halfway in, the judge's hammer
breaks in two, requiring overnight medical attention.
But once there, the E.R. flaunts a No Vacancy sign due
to mandatory injections of the actual swine flu.
