Hope

It's a dangerous thing.

Sometimes it brings life, sometimes it takes it.

I'm fighting just to have some left.

Right now the battle in my head is a mess.

The stages of grief are killing me.

Too much going on to focus so I can see.

Why did you do that? Why does it have to be this way?

It's driving me mad. It's making me insane.

Don't do this to me again.

Last time around I almost let the darkness win.

Deliver me from this insanity in my head.

Wake me up from this dream as I lie in bed!

Pinching myself wasn't enough.

Saying it's not a dream was just a bluff.

It's burning me up deep down inside,

but I have to keep looking. I have to keep my light.

If I give up now then what good am I?!

I'm powering up to win this fucking fight!

I need some time to lay it all out.

I need to disappear for a little bit now.

I need to heal my wounds before I can be a good friend.

Is that really all I'm worth in the end?

Hope is a fickle thing.

Sometimes it makes you cry. Sometimes it makes you sing.

Now I've gotta go back to being "just me".

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I want to disappear. Talking to God helps, but He never talks back. 

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i think God will answer back... God answers me when i quiet down

my mind  so that i can hear (it doesn't happen that often because

i'm not great at shutting off my mind)  i wish you the arrival of a perfect partner