A hug to say hello, after so many years.
An instant connection, the hearts flutter so clear.
A hug at the end of the first night, as you walked slowly away.
Missing that hug already, in my heart it would always stay.
A hug meeting at the train, such beauty my eyes behold.
The roses accented the outfit, so well to which you wore.
A hug before the perfect picture, taken at the pier.
The light shining up as the moon shines down, each smitten to the other so clear.
A hug before bed time, each night as the days past.
Thinking it would never end, but a lifetime it would last. ljj081815
A hug every morning, and hugs throughout the days.
Showing love of a soulmate, in each and every way.
The final hug that heartfelt evening, tears streaming down our face.
The moment had come for that final hug, as our time together had ran its pace.
Sometimes I wonder, in single moment of time.
Will the ever be a hug so wonderful, as the hugs of yours and mine.
Is
this a poem that needs to be read out loud? There were a few times that I couldn't quite keep a rythym. I liked the story telling and think the end has a good line, so my critique would just be to edit and clean up the flow of the poem a little
- J
Thank you for your critique
Hi,
I appreciate your critique of my poem and I welcome any constructive criticism with regards to anything I post. That being said, you must understand something. There is no thought, absolutely none, put into the poems that I write, so really One could argue that they could not be called poems. They are exactly what I say they are which is "my emotions turned into words" from my life experiences both bad and good. A certain memory or feeling will come to me. It may be a feeling of a person, A time, or even a place, and that one word or thought stirs emotions in me which I then write out on paper or dictate into Siri without thought. The words just come to me, for a better lack of term. So, to alter or clean up my writings/thoughts is not possible nor would I ever do it because that would mean there was fore thought, and what I say on my writings are instantaneous feelings and my emotions which I just happened to turn to words. Again, thank you for the critique and I hope what I said above makes sense. Thanks. N