Author Information
Jungle Mouth Jim
It was Mondy morning, I had no warning
my helper came in with sun glasses on.
Well, I looked at him and said, "hey Jim
what the heck is goin on?"
And he said to me through smoke stained teeth,
"I ain't too good don't feel like I should
but I'll last the day okay."
So we jumped in the van with the day all planned,
Jim smelled just like Johhny Walker,
Well, I let him drive then I realized
he probably could'nt walk proper.
I lost my nerve when he went over a curb,
scraped the underneath and rattled my teeth
the yellow light turned again.
We pulled up hard in a customer's yard
Jim stopped just in front of the garage.
We took out the tools and fancy rules
and proceeded in with the entourage.
Well, Jim lost his way and in a drunken haze
walked into a closet and then cursed God awful
came out with a scarf over his eyes.
I got him out of there cause the customer was scared
into the basement making new holes Jim bored.
I was talking to the lady laying out the basics
when Jim drilled right up through the floor.
It was new hardwood all shiny and grooved
and up through the middle Jim drilled a little
hole not to be ignored.
Well, she let out a scream and I could'nt seem
to calm her down for the life of me.
Jim swaggered upstairs wood chips in his hair
sporting a grin like a geek.
Well, she turned with a spin and threw a book at him
without an inch to spare it breezed by his hair
and broke the glass in an old art print.
Jim, he was so suprised that he fell to one side
and the tip of his drill jammed into the burglar alarm
and on came a siren that smothered her crying
and signaled the local Gendarmes.
First there was her siren then came their sirens
and as the cars rolled in I got to looking at Jim
wondering if he had a cemetery plot
Well, she was in grief with tears on her cheeks
when the police came in through the door.
Then Jim got nervous thinking things were serious
and dropped the drill on the floor.
Now how could you figure he'd jam up the trigger
standing right there in the middle of nowhere
over a small long haired dog.
Yes sir. the bit on that thing wound up to sing
got tangled in all that fur,
his skin tightened up I thought his eyes would pop
he wailed like a hound or a cur.
The drill came to a hum with the dog almost done
and Jim tripped himself and broke a ceramic shelf
before he unplugged the cord.
She was still crying while her dog was biting
the cop that was trying to save him.
She looked at me and it was plain to see
I was out of there but mostly Jim.
So with everything in hand we headed for the van
that Jim by and large had parked close to the garage
but it was nowhere to be seen.
Well, I looked at Jim and that smoke stained grin
told me we were still in a mess.
Jim not thinking claer did'nt leave the van in gear
it rolled into the garage I guess.
I slowly peered in hoping damage would be slim
but there by a door was a model A Ford
with the van snug to it's side.
So I took a closer look my hopes clearly shook
the relic was a candy apple red
The van had rolled in and made a big dent
shaped just like a hog's head.
Well, I was'nt watching Jim and he slipped in
the Van to correct the mistake he'd made
tried to back the van up in drive.
Yes sir, Jim pushed that car into a wheel barrow
one of the handles broke off a light
Well, when he finally backed up the van got stuck
under the fender on the right.
Yep, Jim pulled that off and then got it caught
on an electric light cord plugged in of course
that was hanging over an open gas can.
BLAMMM!!!!!11 WHOOSH BOOM!!!
Tell me now Jungle Mouth Jim
why'd come to work in a drunken din?
My life in heaven seems so blue
cause I see my wife at home with you.
From this place I'm floating in
there's no way to get at you Jim.
and I might be an angel but to tell you the truth
if I could go back I'd murder you!!!
