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(ANTIPATING) CHILD WISH
Folder:
Teenage Chronicals as i sit here anticipating my thoughts
i think about the days that were lost
written messages with no clue on how to find them
mailed into a box hoping someone will find them
I stand and look off the edge of the bridge
if i jump will i fly or die
i don't know but it's all a big mistake
so untake this life that i destrtoyed and let me live as a new grown boy
one more chance to show you who i am
one more chance to prove i am a man
in the world i can follow to the east and the west
I can follow to the open deises
laying on the ground to wilt away
i like the lines:
"so untake this life that i destrtoyed and let me live as a new grown boy
one more chance to show you who i am
one more chance to prove i am a man"
and
"I can follow to the open deises
laying on the ground to wilt away"
those are definitely ok, but i was thinking that maybe the last line could go like this:
"laying on the ground
to wilt away"
i think like that would give it maybe a finality, though nothing's ever completed..but it is your choice....
is otherwise a good read