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My Goodbye
Folder:
Childish, I Know I am not what I appear to be,
And truth is something you rarely see.
But from now on I'll not tell a lie,
Simply because, this is my goodbye.
So call off the search
And just stop looking
I don't want to be found
And what can you do?...nothing.
Distant parents and a troubled past,
Broken bones held by a fragile cast.
This is the skin I wear
To cover a face that isn't there.
So call off the search
And just stop looking
I don't want to be found
And what can you do?...nothing.
If you never met me it was no great loss,
Your life won't mean less because our paths didn't cross.
I was just a shadow, a brief deja vous,
A familiar face you never knew.
So call off the search
And just stop looking
I don't want to be found
And what do I want from you?...nothing.
This is an excellent poem. It's very well structured, first off, every line is equal, which always even outs, and creates makes it less awkward.
The ryhming is a good pattern, and even though the "Chorus" like thing, doesn't exactly rhyme, you pulled it off with a great psuedo-rhyme. It sounds nice and smooth and together when you say it out loud.
Excellent metaphors.
Broken bones held by a fragile cast.
This is the skin I wear
To cover a face that isn't there.
^ That is just the best, I can feel it, and it is sort of chilling and eerie.
Great job!
I gotta give it to ya ben this is awesome. after readin your stuff im seein a side of you i never knew. this is absolutely amazin. great stuff. keep postin dude. see ya soon
Tony