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Reminder
I am reminded of myself with reflections and shadows.
Hiding from myself, but deep inside I know it is there.
The lonlieness, the unperfectness, the wanting.
But no one cares.
Reminded by myself, as my words echo through my head.
Did that sound alright I wonder?
Will you mock me, point and stare?
Older now, and wiser, but scars unhealing still remain.
Walking into a crowded room, how selfish I am to think,
That everyone is looking at me, laughing with others laughing at me. Thinking that everything could be ok, but it never can. I am too scared.
I look at you, and sometimes wonder, what you see in me.
You see beauty, you see true love. I see uglyness, and what I don't want to be.
But this is me, here I am, fully functional and selfish as hell. I won't deny it, I know I am. If you can't change me, no one can. I depend on you. I need you too. I know I'm bitter, but man, I love you.
But I keep pushing myself away from you,
I know you're leaving, with nothing we can do. If you could stay I swear I'd change, until then I just keep pushing you away.
Reminded by myself, as I read back on this page.
Looking at my own words, that can never be erased.
Reminded everyday of how wonderful you are. I don't deserve you, not by far.
I stare into your innocent eyes...and still sometimes I can feel nothing.....nothing..........but...I know I'm lonely without you. I can get another man. Like any woman can. But there's still that something about you.
It's not you. I swear it is all me. I'm a fool by far. Believe me, I know you love me. I know it with all my heart. But I don't deserve it. Face it I'm miserable. But I won't let go of you.
I guess you can't say I don't think about you.
How this writing turned into a story about you.
I guess that you can't say that I don't love you,
seeing how this poem was never intended for you.
So maybe I'm not selfish.
I retract that thought.
You think about me...
and yes, I think about you alot.
But it's still me. The way I feel.
I know I love you, and this love is real.
It is No longer a silly crush.
I'm no longer a fool, in a fools game of love.
I see us together, living for two.
In my reflection, I'm standing by you.
You make me whole,
my life complete.
When I'm with you,
I'm no longer reminded of 'me'.
