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Two and a half years ago

is when this all began.

This was the first time I ever

was taken to bed by a man.

His name was Christopher Hawkins

and he was twenty-three

and though he was seven years older

I was positive that he loved me.

And so, I, this Christian girl so innocent

decided it was about time I grew up

So I went with him to a college party

and drank from his offered red cup.

The next day I woke up all alone,

with an aching between my thighs

a bruised knee and a busted lip

with two blackened eyes.

I stumbled from the frat house

and managed to find my way home.

My parents kept badgering me with questions

I told them to just leave me alone.

I laid in my bed all day

and all I could do was cry.

I was sure of what Christopher had done,

I just wasn't sure why.

My mother snuck in and held me,

and she calmly asked me, "Was all this him?"

I lied weakly and told her no,

"We both decided to indulge in sin."

She obviously didn't believe me

because soon the cops were there.

They had doctors swab between my legs

and found semen all over my underwear.

I was absolutely mortified!

Could this be anymore degrading.

They made me watch them interrogate him,

while outside it was raining.

Detective:"Did you rape Mercedes Jones?

The Girl who was with you at the party."

Chris: "Yeah so what? She was a slut.

She fucked and sucked everybody."

I was angry and indignant inside and screamed

"He's lying! HE'S LYING!!! He said he loved me."

My parents looked so crest fallen

as if they no longer saw their little "Merrie."

Detective: " Slut or not. She's a minor.

Are you saying you didn't know?"

Chris: " I want a lawyer right now!

and unless I'm under arrest let me go!"

Detective: "Oh yes you are definitely under arrest

your semen was the only in her body."

Chris (panicing): "That's impossible!

I wasn't the only on---" He went silent. Looking snotty.

The detective slapped him in some cuffs

and read "my" Christopher his rights.

He promised with a sneer towards the glass,

"I'll see you later sweet cheeks. Goodnight..."

I was frightened beyond belief

thinking that he would come after me.

But the judge proved strong and locked him away

and I got back to my family.

Eight and a half months passed

life continued as if the incident never existed

But my growing belly was a reminder

that kept my expression twisted.

Despite the horrible circumstances of conception

I promised to love this baby.

My parents had long since given up abortion,

suggesting adoption, maybe?

But this child would be mine

I would be the best and most loving mother

and would think of an excuse when time came.

as to why her child doesn't have a father.

I already knew it would be a girl

and decided to name her Kennedy

Hoping that this healthy growing girl

would learn in time to love me.

One day I stayed home alone,

And someone grabbed me by my hair.

I heard Christopher say, "Goodnight Mercedes."

And then he pushed me down the stairs....

I woke up two weeks later

feeling empty and like I've been asleep too long.

To hear my parent's sadly telling me

That my child was gone!!

And a week later so was I...