Within our passion
I call up
the demons of your soul,
And play around with them,
As childhood friends would,
Knowing each other’s secrets,
Knowing each other’s phantoms.
You thought to bury them in the dirt
In the grave, you sought to hide
The brother that sinned against you,
The ones outside your tribe,
The ones that led you to hatred.
I wish to devour you,
And twist the gentle knowledge
Of your fears, against you.
To spear the tender flesh
Of caught fish on hooks,
baited with lust.
To grind you to think of only
The me in your maleness,
In the root of your being
That I hold in my hand,
That I project into life
With a sweet query, and look
That I can conjure up later,
As barbs in your soul.
Think not that I won’t use, the
Sickening wisdom
Of your troubled self,
To hurt, and chain you,
To drive you, chive you
As onions to eyes, and razors
To skin.
Why, you would cry,
Head pillowed in soil
Fresh bound out of
That sibling’s fresh fallow,
Why?
Just my passion, my desire
To devour,
you.
Author's Notes/Comments:
He told me why he hated his brother. A secret I will keep but his hatred for others not like himself was so palitable that it frightened me. I wrote the first verse and left the poem unresolved in a Vista running computer now heading for the scrap heap. I didnt recognize the poem thinking I copied it from someone, then started thinking why I would write such a despicable thing. I mistyped dirt as dirst so have come to confirm I penned it and hid it, the subject matter too unpleasant. The second and third verse is my feelings now of how a man would allow a woman to control how he looks at the world and himself because of the passion he feels for her. My anger made me want to inflict this pain as retribution for not being the woman who changed his soul, for not being the woman he will consider his perfect match, the product of his failure to commit to one who will hold his secrets and not use them against him. So the writing is being that manipulative woman. I don't know if I could follow through with someone I wanted to stick around but could if I was driving them away because they spurned me. I now know there are women a man would stay with despite her emotional blackmail. I've never been successful at that and therefore am not crazy enough for men to obsess about. I do recall this situation in my divorce and I don't want to be that person. Fighting dirty oh this is a large subject...
