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I died.
Somewhere between that look in your eyes
And the words you never said.
I hate how you make me feel like I
Belong with the undead.
I hate even more how your touch, your kiss
Brings me back to life every time,
Against my will. When did I surrender
This power, was it ever mine?

I can only cower and crumble
So many times before this damage
Becomes permanent. So here I am
Asking people to tie me up and beat me down
Because you never would or perhaps
Never could. You've left me with a disconnect
That I don't believe can be healed.

No matter what anybody tells me,
I'll always feel like I'm not worth
Their attention and time. In moments
Like this pain feels necessary, needed
In ways I can't quite describe. I don't
Understand why, more importantly
I don't care to.

In the end it's really not that complicated,
I need to feel extremes because I haven't
Felt anything for so long. Extreme pain
Is so much easier to come by than
Extreme pleasure or love. And I don't
Blame you if this scares you,
It scares me too, but this is who I am
Right now, I have no choice but to
Follow these feelings.