Author Information
I may already be gone
You think I am in control?
You think this is what I want to be?
You think that this is me?
You’re wrong. If only I could get you
To stop, look me in the eyes.
Maybe you would see a fraction
Of what’s going on.
I’m not invisible but I’ve gotten good
At going unseen, I’ll always be one of
Those people who is easily forgotten.
I can’t help but blame myself, if only
I had found a way to be different,
To be better, to be more expected,
At least a way to function
With others.
Still part of me revels in desires
To be alone, not in everything, but
In how I see the world and thirst for
A purpose to call my own, it’s
Selfish and shitty really.
When I was young I felt so much
Rejection some of it real, some of
It overblown, but I spent too much
Time in a house alone as a boy.
Confused, angry and scared
Of everyone.
Now I have most conversations
Through drive-thru windows,
Picking up dinners eaten in
Silence and no matter what I
Consume I’m always empty.
My soul starving in isolation.
If I don’t find someone
To hold me soon I swear
I’ll dissolve.
