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Memories, hard forgotten

escaping from my mind, seeping into my dreams

I hold onto you as much as I can

I hold onto whatever I can get,

clutching it to my chest as I rapidly descend

into nightmares, or

dreams where I writhe in pleasure,

dreaming of you touching me like you did

again

and again.

I wonder if you will ever be mine

like i am yours



I wonder if you miss me, so many miles away..

dreaming of sandy beaches,

girls in bikinis, (no more fat chicks for you)

with their blonde hair shining in the sun...

Me, I sit in my room.

bundled up in boyfriend's clothes,

worn nightgowns..

clutching my pillows,

dreaming of how you touched me..

igniting a passion i never knew i had.



A switch has been turned on..

I can't seem to turn it back off.



My dreams..

You are everywhere, and nowhere.

I look for you, the world

blurring past me

as I seek you out

Until i find you, waiting for me by the stairs.

You turn, smile a sexy smile...

And I am jolted back to reality,

wishing I could kiss you again,

Wishing I could give myself to you

and knowing I can't...

descending into despair,

clinging onto whatever remains of you

the people i hate, i tolerate because they know you

they know you as I knew you

they reminisce with me..

all the ways you made me laugh,

moan

scream

sigh



I want you back