I turn you on
You shut down.
The lights flicker green
Waver
Hesitate
Then blind me in a burst of
Red light
The deep red of sheer hatred
Your feelings for me
So hard to understand
Copper
Brazen and evasive
Reaching out to you
My mind reaches for things we cannot grasp
Contemplate, comprehend
Understand
That what I do is not because I want to
It is because it is something I so desperately need
My mind is grabbing at something I don't know
It is pulling you in
And it will be an affectionate sting
And then you will be mine
And we will be dying,
And I find you crying,
And I will not know why.
My world comes full tilt backwards
Come this way, run in a circle
Spin webs around your head
Until you know
And it drives you away
Every day
Unfeeling, unmeaning
As I connect your oxygen tank
To let you breathe, escape my suffocation
And it is too soon
For us to be dying
And it isn't early enough
To feel these tears
And to notice these tears and slashes
Rips and scratches
Across the things that make us ourselves
And we run
From these demons
That will always catch up
And they're at our heels
And they are maddening
Crazed and contagious
Demanding things of us
That we do not demand of ourselves
Demanding we give up all that is us
And destroy all that has been created
And we are left
So quickly abandoned
So quietly alone
And the issues we are left to deal with
Will scar us for life
Or just for now
But either way, we are still the same
Just different
Disgusted
Disguised as normal people
With smiles plastered on our faces
And lies carefully tied to our waists
And simplicity erased.