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It's Him, Or Is It?
He's new and shinny
I'm enthralled by him
He is everything I want
Right now
But what happens when that wears off
When my true colors show
When he descovers my faults
My hidden pain
My tortured past
My lies that I hide behind
Because the lies are easier than making myself vulenerable
I see a future with him
But I can't see it with him
It's like the light
It's like the night
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't be happy
I want more of him
But I want less of him
I want to hold on to him forever
I want to let him go
I've hurt too much in the past
I have much love to give
I have no idea what I want
Maybe this is me clearing out my head
Maybe it's me becaming a true man
Laying it out for him
Maybe Darrin, Dustin, Caleb, Tim, Brandon
Randall, Malcolm
And the others were just fine tuning
For him
For the love he'll give me
Maybe I can uncling
Stop lying
And start to let someone in
I'm scared
I'm happy
I'm sad
This is me:
Happy within
Hurt a plenty
Been rapped
Pulled down
Crapped on
Never been in love
Never been weak
Strong
Strong willed
Silent
Over Thoughtful
Giving
Strength when everyone is weak
Not afraid of saying my opinion
I think I'm ready
Maybe I won't push him away
Maybe I'll fall
Maybe I won't
It's worth the risk
For Once I'm Ready to be Hurt
To be loved
To be held
To be everything
To argue
To agree
To get nasty
To become myself with him
To discover who I am
Because the mask is now off
And yesterday was yesterday
Today is today
One day at a time
One moment at a time
One tear at a time
One kiss
One everything at a time
