PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Man I never realized the reality of needing God so much. I never realized the reality of desiring to be with him and to focus on him so much. I never realized the that reality till just recently. I never realized that by not putting him first really does mess me up. I am always thinking of him through the day at work, and he is on my mind so much.  I come home and I pray online for people. I desire to read the bible and desire to worship, and when I am not feeling so great I immediately run to him first before talking to anyone at all.  I know at times I can be around certain people or be watching certain tv shows and something doesn't feel right. I'll feel this loneliness sweep over me and I immediately run to my computer and go to the prayer room, I crank up the christian tunes, I start praying and reading verses.  As soon as I start doing this I feel such an incredible comfort that I can not receive else where. I can never get this satisfaction from anyone else and I just know things will be ok. I can't even begin to explain how it feels when I hear the tunes play and I start reading the bible.  Now I know that I do need God more than anything. I used to rely on girls to bring me comfort and put God in the backseat and then wonder, Hey God why are you not blessing me??? Well now I can say it's the reverse effect, where I can be with a girl and not feel that satisfaction till God is directly involved, or I run to him for help and comfort and strength in all that I do.  Now girls are not my main concern cuz without God I can never obtain that comfort and security no matter who the girl is.  I am starting to learn how to put God first before ANYTHING!! I'm starting to learn not to give into what people tell me to do. What I mean by this is if people tell me I should go do this or that cuz it would benefit me I think would it really??? Also it's about standing your ground and standing up for Christ no matter what the price. Yes I believe I still have to work on it in areas. Things though I'll stand my ground in is the church I attend and not to change my music styles just because one person says it's not christian like or because they want to mold me into who they want me to be.  It's like a father approaching his son saying well you really should style your hair this way to be respected more!! Or you really should not listen to this music so you can gain respect!! Well giving into people does not earn respect, it just goes to show that you are setting up to be pushed around. Others can pick up on this and will take advantage and order you around cuz they are too lazy, or they can not fess up to anything.  This is where God comes in and you're relationship with him. Does a hairstyle really tell you who you are?? So just cuz it's black, red, pink, orange, aqua and whatever other crazy color you can think of, does it really tell you that you're a a jerk to people?? No it does not because you could truly have a heart for people and care, and pink hair is the proof??? Sorry if I have a relationship with Christ and I am close to him, and I know who I am, and I know deep inside how I care for others, I will wear what ever color I want to!!! I want to be different, and this is not about causing trouble. What this is all about is not giving into other people's judgements, because who are they to talk?? They are being just as critical and uncaring, when in reality you truly care for people, and those people judging you are wearing  the 500 dollar watch, or 500 dollar suits!! Do you see what I am getting at?? This is where God really comes in, and when you truly rely on him for everything.  I suppose this goes into 2 different catagories. One knowing who you are and not letting people push you around. When you stand your ground with Christ you will earn true respect.  This is where you stand your ground, and not let people take advantage!!