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Today I turned over a brand new leaf,

No more spittin on the dog

No more pullin the cow's tail,

And pokin at the hog

I loosened up the dog's collar,

And gave him a extra link...

I even moved the dishes,

Before pissin in the sink

I gave my ole lady the day off,

From washin all the clothes

I told her the creek was a lil dirty today,

She could wash up with the hose

I might even build a outhouse,

So she won't have ta shovel no more

It's been gettin hard ta wake her,

When she's in a real deep snore

I think I've made enuf sacrifices

I believe I'll rest up here...

Hopefully, she'll hear me, out in the field,

And bring me a ice cold beer!