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Nothing More, Nothing Less
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2015 No more anger
No more hostility
No more challenges
Only decisiveness reigns
Wishing only the best
as the remnants crackle away
All overdue now
Once existed a day I wouldn't know how
Admittedly, I still struggle to express
such emotions of duress
without pointing a finger
Objectivity desired
Maturity admired
Becoming the man who shall no longer be named
the man not trusted or treasured
in a world where once the forces were unyielding
today remains fortuitous for even an accidental leak of something trustworthy
So rather than grasp at a false notion of a shared unity
I pack plethoras of our data up from my cortex
embarking on unenvied waste management
saving what I hold dearest
then dumping the remaining loose baggage on a vacant freeway
blocking the path to nowhere
covering an unspoken void wholly, yet improperly sealed
leaving the mistakes we made, and the corrosion of time and heartbreak
to rust like an abandoned beater
leaving the whimpering carcass devoid of relevance for years
to collapse within itself in a neglected junkyard
Today, the cerebrum I save for you
is nothing more,
nothing less
than a tidy space with vacuum-sealed memories
labelled and alphabetized
sterilized
Alongside,
barrels of a metamorphic substance
untampered for years
the role played today
at best muted, or muttered
I tend to steer clear of this demon water for the betterment of my mental health
but the weather makes the musty panels
creak
and sometimes the dusty barrels
leak
seeping
and I think intimately of you
a nectar one day
and a poison the other
a vibrant spectrum
of phenomenally-wasted potential
I don't know how much
Of this poem you changed
But it speaks better to me today
Then the other day.
Second glance ?
But a great write and a real read
This time around.
Love it.
KS
I'm always trying to reread
I'm always trying to reread over what I post, usually for the sake of improving the flow of the piece...maybe I'll throw an extra space in for effect, or switch out a word or two... I remember making some edits like that the last time I went over this one, thanks for giving it a second look :)
yeah. i read every word. i
yeah. i read every word. i digested it. it didnt go down easy. but it was very filling. the uncomfortable kind! good write!
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
Thank you, I don't disagree,
Thank you, I don't disagree, heh... love means a lot of different things to different people, and based on how the cards have been played...the way things turned out was for the greater good of the whole. I think the world of her, I truly cherish the great memories we shared, but I dunno.. we became toxic around one another near the end and it really didn't help either of us to hang on. We weren't the best versions of each other, and that stings to even think about today. You need to be able to think clearly and speak honestly in these uncomfortable conversations...I struggled then, and it's so damn difficult even today. Unfortunately, it only seems to get easier with time (and experience, blah)
I wish we could have gone down a different path, before our trust was damaged, and I wish I wouldn't need to be so damning and critical of the situation - but that's simply where I see this. She's with somebody who treats her well, and there's some solace in that. Thanks again for reading :)
...when you really start to
...when you really start to break it down, the fact I experienced something as strong, vivid, and fantastic as the good times we shared.. I mean, a lot of people search their entire lives simply for the smallest taste of something like that. Some never find that, and I had (in my early Twenties, no less)
So sure, the pain is palpable, and the damage is real... but it taught me a lot about love, too..and some of the valuable lessons about functioning day-to-day in a relationship. It also taught me about valuating self-worth (rather than thru the validation of others), taught me that I have a strong support group behind me, etc. So I'm eternally grateful, and I'll take what I've learned and I'll apply it moving forward.
"...Within my discontent..."
This is a tale to ponder, seeking matching similarities, common soil ~ rich textured, open. There is a lot here ~Lady A~
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there certainly was... but i
there certainly was... but i mean people have the right to move on, it's not fair to leave somebody bogged down when all they want to do is look for the best person to find happiness. Most of the time, I make the same effort...but the past just gets the best of me at times and I need to get it out of my brain one way or another. Thanks for your kind words allets
I Call That A Purge Poem
Just re-read more intensely - still rich and full and dense, the road imagery is poignant with commonality of experience. You move on and carry the past in a zipped pocket until the next need to take it out. Love this one enormously - yrpoembud - Stella
thanks much as always :) a
thanks much as always :) a purge poem...I like that, probably sums up a lot of what I like to write, works for me!