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vivid technicolor memories pulling me back in time

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From Darker Times

vivid technicolor memories pulling me
back in time
left laying like a child's broken toy
feeling helpless

dazed an confused
terror running rampant through my mind

 

In my nightmare's I can still feel it all
night after night I awake gasping for air.
I’m dripping wet, freezing cold even
though sweat pours from every pore

 

one word echo's like a raven's call
through out every fiber left in my soul
NEVER ! screams from deep within
the part of me, he couldn't break
never again will I feel so helpless
never again will I trust anyone but Me
never again will I go down without a fight
never again till I die

 

Looking in the mirror at the dull an empty
caged animal eye's
I begin to believe my own , you can't hurt me lies
feeling alone even in a crowd,

it's safer this way
it leaves no one I have to trust

 

I've grown stronger than most an the scars

they are worn like badges of courage

for all to see
but deep inside this old man's body

is just a broken child
wishing there was someone to trust
wishing there was someone to love
wishing I wasn't all alone

 

vivid technicolor memories pulling me
back in time

 

~ D Donner ~

Author's Notes/Comments: 

There are Bad thing's that happen to Good People a line I can appreciate
I have thing's (Issues the language used now ) from 42 years ago.
I've fought hard to keep buried, But like some B grade horror flick the Son of a Bitch won't stay buried.
So My newest tactic in this war , Is to Drag the Bastard out into the light an see how He likes that Shit
I've written about this before, Way back when an was told it would be best to leave dead things buried
what they never knew was even if my monster was behind prison wall's I didn't feel any safer

Posting anything to do with this subject still scares the Hell out of Me. Even now when I know it was nothing I did wrong

So If You will.... bare with me occasionally while I put this Demon where it needs to be

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last updated 23 January 2014 - 6:45am
©23 March 2012 - 8:28pm — Daniel-59
25 March 2012 - 3:35am — Daniel-59
Daniel-59's picture

Thank You All for the Support and kind words !

Thank You All for the Support and kind words !

The Support is Refreshing ,I've been out there Way to Long !

Every story-teller bends the myth to his own purpose. that's why a Hero has a thousand faces

23 March 2012 - 11:35pm — SSmoothie
SSmoothie's picture

this is some of the most powerful stuff you have written

I can see why. I have to admire the spirit in which you write these demons out into the open. A have a lot of forgiving to do for myslelf and others. and forgiving is very much for the forgiver. I find it hard to do with my self but easy for others. I understand others. I will not forgive my self. well untill today. Today I have seen myself and my situation from the outside in. I can understand my weakness my fear my humiliation. It was an amazing thing to accomplish and this Poem of yours touched that part of me and it came at just the right time. It validated alot of what I feel as I get older. The inncoents will suffer an unruly awakening often but that is the cost of being a survivor. A gladiator of life. I thankyou so much for this. I hope you too find peace.Peace to you with HugSS

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

23 March 2012 - 11:24pm — heatherburns35
heatherburns35's picture

When trust is broken it is

When trust is broken it is extremely hard
to ever trust completely again. I believe
a person will always be cautious. And this
is a good thing.