The winding of the clock
At the new Twilight Hour
Seeds time immaculate
And prophecy of a quiet mind,
Like saplings slowly striving
In chilled sucking quicksand
And absence of activity,
The nothingness of night.
But roots dearly cling
To Mother Earth's embrace
And the power that flowers
In our Crazy Cosmos.
Try to fix it, we are told.
But there's nothing to do.
How about you provide
Food as the soul-stuff in wind,
The sudden shock of electrical surges.
Fine, behold divine dancing hands
Erasing mistakes and
Performing playful prodigies.
The pencil brushes the paper
Conjuring the sweetest scenes,
Like the perfected swaying
Of a beautiful ballet
In which they gracefully greet me---
That is to say, we are met in space,
Unknowing but we are all the same---
Prancing on petite feathered feet.
The concept is both amazing
The concept is both amazing and delicately stated, which makes this a magnificent poem.
Starward
Thanks Man
Perhaps you will be happy to know that it's been updated.
bananas are the perfect food
for prostitutes
Bravo! That is a more
Bravo! That is a more intensely beautiful version. Still reminds me, at certain lines, of the best of the French symbolists; but this version really excels! The poem's center of gravity is "the sudden shock of electrical surges"; and, indeed, the lines proceed like successive electrical surges. I applaud your talent as it is demonstrated in this poem.
Starward
Thanks again
Not only for the compliments but also the crucial critique you gave me in order to make this poem better. You helped the suffering sequence immensely to become what it is now. Your comments never cease to please me. Thank you.
bananas are the perfect food
for prostitutes
Your response has made a
Your response has made a rather dreary day much better. Thank you, sir.
Starward