Blankets in backyards
Hooded sweatshirts begin to replace bathing suits
Connecticut becomes cold at night this time of year
Stars shining bright what seems like an arm's reach away
We would try to catch them like fireflies in a jar
If our hands weren't already occupied holding each other so close
We weren't even sure if they were actually stars
There would be more validity in labeling these dazzling dots
"satellites"
or
"airplanes"
or
Perhaps even
"guardian angels"
Watching down on us to prevent our fragile hearts from shattering on the bitter soil
We have been good friends for what seems like forever
Nothing less...Nothing more
Three years younger than me but still managed to offer some of the best advice to ever enter through my ears
Just one leaf remains on the tree in your neighbor's yard
Dangling like a daredevil until it eventually falls to its fatality and joins its perished comrades below
I've had these locked up feelings for you for quite some time now
Afraid of exposing the truth in fear of how you would react
I momentarily forget about my girlfriend waiting for my call three towns away
I've liked you before I even knew that other girl existed
Ergo
This wouldn't be considered cheating in my mind
We still gaze up at the "stars"
But begin to stare more at each other as well
Close friends cuddling never meant any harm
Your fingernails kept gliding
Up and Down
My back
Perhaps to show your affection for me
Or maybe because you thought I had an itch there
Possibly you saw a mosquito on my back that I didn't happen to feel
The world is spinning but time stands still
My heart is palpitating as I lick my chapped lips
I slowly caress your cheek and maneuver in for a taste of your breath
But your cell phone abruptly rings
Ring tone of choice:
"Swing, Swing" by the All American Rejects
Wondering to myself if you can help me "find a way to carry on again"
Apparently it was your mother who had called
Well that's what you told me anyways
Even though I heard the screeching voice of a prepubescent boy on the other line
You grab the blanket and flee to your backdoor
Vanishing in your cozy home while leaving me alone to freeze in a frigid field of fallen dreams
The last leaf falls off of that tragic tree as you slam the door
The first tear fell from my eye and creates a man-made pond on your property
To sink or swim?
That is the question...
As in my own failed visions I begin to dismally drown
...It's been approximately eleven months since that autumn evening
I still think of you as I look up to those pseudo stars in the shimmering sky
I need to know what thoughts were traveling around in your mind that night
What you were thinking
How you were feeling
I need to know if you were holding me close to ignite the flame of our future and love
Or if you were merely a leech
A poisonous parasite if you must
Stealing my cherished warmth for your own selfish survival
In between the chattering of your teeth
I could have sworn I heard you say those three blissful words
But it could have simply been the wind
The soon to be leafless trees whisper my name once again
Just as they did a year ago
Inviting me to return back to the wicked woods and frigid fields of your backyard for yet another match...
...Maybe it was merely the breeze
...Hopefully is was only you