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Fall From Grace

 

Take what you want,

Take what you need.

I don’t have much,

Just let it be.

 

I lived in a prison,

My mind was the key.

There wasn’t anything else

That could ever set me free.

 

I played your song,

I sang in tune

I hit each step

But I started too soon.

 

Now everyone is blind

Because I wanted to see

Why does it take so much,

Just to believe?

 

 I don’t blame you

So don’t blame me.

This is not a bad attempt

At a last minute plea.

 

Store my name,

Keep it clean.

I’m what you wished

You might have seen.

 

This is not a suicide note,

This is just in case.

This is not a suicide note,

Just a fall from grace.

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last updated 2 March 2011 - 12:14am
©16 February 2011 - 6:10am — dakota
8 March 2011 - 6:50am — GracieJ
GracieJ's picture

For a minute

For a minute, I thought the stanzas were repetitive, but the last one really tied everything together. It's like a surprise. 

Definitely love this one. 

16 February 2011 - 7:37am — vipervenomnu
vipervenomnu's picture

I love the last stanza.  I

I love the last stanza.  I would have probably started it that way.  Also perhaps you should lengthen your lines.  it allows for a less restrictive rhyme scheme.  The rhymes seems forced.  If you can't say what you really want and need to say while at the same time making it rhyme, then you should sacrifice the rhyme for the sake of the thought.  This is the first of your poems i've stumbled upon.  I'll look at some of your other stuff and see if perhaps I can understand your style a little better.  Overall it's a great piece.

8 March 2011 - 6:16am — skinnyjoe09
skinnyjoe09's picture

fuck all the literary

fuck all the literary bullshit well written and well received it speaks volumes with very lil words wonderful