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INGRID'S PRETEND HOLIDAY.
Benedict took Ingrid
on the underground train
to Charing Cross station
(he having paid the fare
from his 2/6d
pocket money)
she anxious about the journey
the darkness underground
the bright stations
and the speed
of the train
and once outside
she put her hands
over her eyes
and off again
makes my eyes go funny
she said
does that to them
bit like coming out
of the cinema
after a long film
he said
she had on
a fading blue dress
black plimsolls
and whitish socks
they came to the edge
of the kerb
and he looked both ways
ought to cross up there
by the zebra crossing
but heck
one's got
live dangerously
sometimes
and he took her hand
and they ran across
the wide road
and she gripped
his hand tight
and her eyes were wide
and she looked
at the speeding traffic
taxis and buses
and cars and motorcycles
come on
he said
I'll show you where
my old man takes me
some Sundays
and so he walked her
along and into
Charing Cross Road
she still
gripping his hand tight
he talking about
the West End
and how sometimes
his old man lets him
go in the penny arcade
and on the machines
with their pinball machines
and other machines
where you can win back coins
and she listened
thinking about home
and her mother
nursing a bruised eye
after her father had hit her
in a fight last night
and how she herself
had hid under her blankets
in case he came
after her but he didn't
and this morning
he had gone off to work
and her big sister said
she was soon leaving home
with the greasy looking
bloke she was with
and her big brother
just sat there
stuffing himself
with Cornflakes
and sipping stewed tea
saying Ingrid looked
like some Belsen kid
and laughed
see that cinema
Benedict said
my old man takes me there
if a new film comes out
and he wants to see it
and he buys us
ice creams or those
orange lollies you know
and she nodded
but she didn't
she seldom went
to the cinema
unless Benedict took her
and they walked by shops
and she looked in
the windows
and still griping his hand
she wondered how much
some of the dresses were
and the hats
just like her aunt wore
and then Benedict
took her
into Leicester Square
and into a milk bar
and ordered two glasses of milk
and biscuits from a jar
and they sat down
at a table by the window
and she viewed it all
wide eyed
sipping her milk
and nibbling her biscuit
and pretended
for that moment
that they were
on a special holiday
and could stay
at one of the big hotels
that Benedict
had shown her
and have breakfast in bed
and not have to worry
about her father's loud bellowing
or him coming
into her room
ill tempered wishing
to belt her one
or slap her backside
as she ran from the room
see that cinema?
Benedict said
pointing through the window
my old man took me
there once and we saw
this famous actress
some one my old man liked
and Ingrid listened
taking it all in
watching him
his quiff of hair
and hazel eyes
and that smiling grin
and she looked out
to where he pointed
pushing away thoughts
of home
and her father's hand
and stare
pretending she
was on holiday
and didn't care.
