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Have I been dead

This whole time?

It truly feels as

If I have been.

There are things

I do remember.

Quite a many things

Come to mind.

I know I knew him

For ten long years.

When I would skip class,

Smoking in the bathroom.

Yet I feel as if

I don’t know him.

Not since that day

I turned myself over.

And quite simply

Gave myself to him.

But only for that twenty

Minutes then nothing.

Now there is another guy,

Who will listen to my woes.

He deals with me as I am,

Brain injury and all.

And he already knows

About the other guy.

And what we have done.

And thinks he’s nothing.

But knows I still try

To communicate with him.

But he plays it off as nothing

And lies it behind a smile.

But still the feeling remains,

May haps I was dead,

Just lying in wait,

For the time to come.

When I would realize

All my past mistakes.

And decide to do right

And make my life right.

But how do I do that?

Do I just sit back and

Have my whole life

Planned for me, I think not.

I think I just figured it out.

I know what I’ll do.

I’ll just sit back, yes,

And I’ll let them come to me.