Have I been dead
This whole time?
It truly feels as
If I have been.
There are things
I do remember.
Quite a many things
Come to mind.
I know I knew him
For ten long years.
When I would skip class,
Smoking in the bathroom.
Yet I feel as if
I don’t know him.
Not since that day
I turned myself over.
And quite simply
Gave myself to him.
But only for that twenty
Minutes then nothing.
Now there is another guy,
Who will listen to my woes.
He deals with me as I am,
Brain injury and all.
And he already knows
About the other guy.
And what we have done.
And thinks he’s nothing.
But knows I still try
To communicate with him.
But he plays it off as nothing
And lies it behind a smile.
But still the feeling remains,
May haps I was dead,
Just lying in wait,
For the time to come.
When I would realize
All my past mistakes.
And decide to do right
And make my life right.
But how do I do that?
Do I just sit back and
Have my whole life
Planned for me, I think not.
I think I just figured it out.
I know what I’ll do.
I’ll just sit back, yes,
And I’ll let them come to me.
~Chrystal
Written on
January 5, 2011