I miss you.
I don’t know exactly why though
You aren’t the man for me
But I still can’t shake the thought of you
Maybe it’s all those years I gave
Yeah- five and a half
They were the hardest,
Most confusing,
But enlightening and wonderful years of my life
I learned a lot about me
A lot about other people
I also got this twisted outlook on my future relationships
I think that every man will cheat on me
And every man will lie to me
And every man will leave me at home at night-
Cold
Under covers alone
You make me believe that all men want to be men
-Leave for however long they like and ignore the child they promised to treat as their own
-Just live freely like I’m not here
The dinner that I use to cook, but get bitched at when I didn’t…
Yeah- that one
It’s in the microwave still
-From two days ago
You left with your friends and said you’d be back to eat
You never came back that night
It’s cold now
That shit makes me remember why I didn’t miss you at first
But for some reason-
Those things that I went through with you feel normal
I feel like I’m going through a state of abnormality because I have peace in my life
I wait for you
I fiend for you chaotic aura
I wait for your jealousy when you think that it’s your place to question my relationships with men that aren’t you
I don’t know what it is that I miss about you
Maybe it’s our talks about the pain you’ve caused me
-The make-ups that came damn near daily
But after all the bullshit-
We had that type of relationship that no one except the walls knew about
It was passion and pain
Major emotion and love
Neither of us had been in that zone with anyone else
We didn’t know what it was about each other that made us be together
It just happened and was all that mattered
You knew me better than anyone and I could map you out with my eyes closed
I guess it’s just normal to be around you
Addiction
The wind and rain make me miss you more and make me want you back
Then I think about it…
And I decide that I need to stop the thoughts
I realize that you don’t belong here
You don’t belong here
You do not belong here