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I miss you.

I don’t know exactly why though

You aren’t the man for me

But I still can’t shake the thought of you

Maybe it’s all those years I gave

Yeah- five and a half

They were the hardest,

Most confusing,

But enlightening and wonderful years of my life

I learned a lot about me

A lot about other people

I also got this twisted outlook on my future relationships

I think that every man will cheat on me

And every man will lie to me

And every man will leave me at home at night-

Cold

Under covers alone

You make me believe that all men want to be men

-Leave for however long they like and ignore the child they promised to treat as their own

-Just live freely like I’m not here

The dinner that I use to cook, but get bitched at when I didn’t…

Yeah- that one

It’s in the microwave still

-From two days ago

You left with your friends and said you’d be back to eat

You never came back that night

It’s cold now

That shit makes me remember why I didn’t miss you at first

But for some reason-

Those things that I went through with you feel normal

I feel like I’m going through a state of abnormality because I have peace in my life

I wait for you

I fiend for you chaotic aura

I wait for your jealousy when you think that it’s your place to question my relationships with men that aren’t you

I don’t know what it is that I miss about you

Maybe it’s our talks about the pain you’ve caused me

-The make-ups that came damn near daily

But after all the bullshit-

We had that type of relationship that no one except the walls knew about

It was passion and pain

Major emotion and love

Neither of us had been in that zone with anyone else

We didn’t know what it was about each other that made us be together

It just happened and was all that mattered

You knew me better than anyone and I could map you out with my eyes closed

I guess it’s just normal to be around you

Addiction

The wind and rain make me miss you more and make me want you back

Then I think about it…

And I decide that I need to stop the thoughts

I realize that you don’t belong here

You don’t belong here

You do not belong here