Wet And Wild

Folder: 
Funny Poems

Introduction



Take your teeth out, knickers off, and go for it!!



Wet And Wild



I left the city a while back now and came to the mountain top,

I parked me combie in the main street, and said, "Yeah, this is where I'll stop".



I'll be seventy-five next birthday, a woman who dives into life,

I missed the hazy hippy years, I think I was someone's wife.



I've changed the way I wear me clothes, no granny prints for me,

A sarong and sandals will do me fine, and dreadlocks wild and free.



I've dispensed with wearin' undies 'cause I want to explore meself,

I burnt the bra long ago and put me bloomers on the shelf.



So, I came up to this magical place to practice me feminine wiles,

I'll not dwell on the years gone past or the fact that I've got piles.



So I sat in a sidewalk café sipping on herbal tea,

I saw him comin' a long way off and shook me dreadlocks free.



I drew the sarong up above me knees, I know he saw me fringe,

'Cause he sat right down in front of me, and said, "My spiritual name is Quinge",



I said, "I'm a mountain woman. Are you a mountain man?",

A grin split his face from ear to ear and we began to make a plan.



He said, "I think you're very sexy", and me fringe began to flutter,

"So when shall we get down to it?" was all that I could utter.



"With or without sugar?", he stirred his tea and asked of me,

"With or without teeth?" I said, my thoughts advanced, you see.



He seemed shocked at my direct reply but I call a spade a spade,

"If you intend to play around with me you'd better sharpen ya blade."



So Quinge and me got on with it, I taught him a trick or two,

Over fifty don't mean a thing, I know just what to do,



Wisdom and experience, no games and no bullshit

Is what the years have taught to me and now I'm full of it.



Yeah, I'm just a mountain woman who has a lot of life to live,

I'm just a mountain woman with a lotta love to give.


View connie's Full Portfolio
George Campos's picture

Yeah, I'm just a mountain woman who has a lot of life to live,
I'm just a mountain woman with a lotta love to give.

Really, really charming and a hell of a lady...